In Review: Self-Made Man
“Ned saw that, and then I saw Ned seeing it, and then I saw myself. I guess that was the facinaion of Ned. He was a mirror and a window and a prism all at the same time.”
I found I quickly became attached to Self-Made Man. Norah Vincent goes on an extraordinary journey to discover the man’s world as a woman dressed as a man named Ned. Her research is broken down into parts: friendship, sex, love, life, work and self. Ned joins a bowling league in rural America and notes the immediate acceptance men give other men, the instincts to teach younger men the ropes to being “manly,” and the ingrained roles men take on to protect the internal struggles they possess. In the company of some of her teammates Ned patrons some of the local strip clubs to observe the interactions between strippers and their admirers, overall her experience in the clubs is uncomfortable and disturbing.
Dating proves to be a difficult process, the rejection Ned receives at bars is enough to crush her confidence, but does not deter her from trying. The outcome of Ned’s dating experience is unexpected and surprising, “dating woman was the hardest part I had to do as Ned, even when the woman liked me and I liked them.” After focusing on dating it is some what ironic to me that Norah chooses a monastery as Ned’s next adventure. For one month Ned lives as a “rookie” among monks and observes the result of men living without woman.
Under the Chapter “Self” Ned joins a mens group dedicated to rediscovering their feelings. The underground “men’s movement” is Ned’s last leg of the journey, and one in which has perhaps the largest effect on Norah’s research, and also the only time when Ned’s secret is never divulged to the group.
One of Norah’s biggest struggles when the experiment was over was the issue of deceit: “How do you reconcile genuine interpersonal connection and potentially valuable insights into human behavior with false pretenses?” One of the most striking outcomes of her research was the fact that Norah felt she was able to pull off her disguise of Ned because the men she was around were hiding behind disguises of their own.
